(im)perfect quest for love

Hilarious and flawed stories about my personal dating life

The world is filled with single women. Women that are successful, personable, beautiful and well educated. Their (and mine) stories are well documented in movies, novels and not to mention instagram. To name a few Girls, Sex in the City, Love Actually, Pretty Woman, in addition, social media is filled with single women. Take for instance Instagram just check out this account. Yet, in real life? The story is different. I don’t think I have ever had someone ask me if they knew any nice potential partners for their son. But just about every week, I will ask whether my friends know of any nice men. Even my mom has being trying for the past ten years to find me and decent eligible bachelor. Why is that?


Why indeed. Why is it that great women struggle to find men to date even as male counterparts with less going for them seem to have little trouble with the opposite sex? Attempts to answer this question has developed a great industry of female dating guides and selfhelp books for women – portraying the failure to find a potential mate as a strategic problem, one that can be solved by “playing hard to get” or follow a some essential simple dating “rules” . Underlying all such advice is the assumption that the perceived shortage of eligible men – is actually an illusion. To back this up there are about 1.05 boys for every 1 girl. So essentially if we women just became better at understanding men and what makes them commit there would be no problem. However, the illusion is real, the man deficit in todays modern society is a fact. Just by looking at numbers from college graduates gives evidence. According to population estimates from the US Census. Among college graduates in America age 30 to 39 there are 6.0 million men versus 7.4 million women, which is five women for every four men. As for ages of 22 and 29 there are 5.5 million college-educated women and 4.1 million men. in easier terms there the dating-pool for college graduates in their twenties have 33% more women than men. How did the ratio become so screwed? The simple answer is that women have been attending university at higher rates than men since the 1980s and a much higher rate since the late 1990s. Moreover, several studies (for example by Jeremy Greenwood) show that educational intermarriage is less common today than any point in history.


When I first realized this just by thinking back my own university days, there the numbers where even worse out of 46 students only 3 were male. One a close friend, second a man was 52 and lived with his dad, the remaining did not like shoes and almost alway walked barefoot. I know that most of you and especially mums that are eager to become grandmothers do not want to think about the supply and demand when contemplating matters of the heart. the idea that gender ratios influence whom we love, date and not to mention have sex with is disconcerting …. Yet, I will give you all some hope, there is a place where the ratio is reverse. Male paradise for the single educated woman: “Man Jose” or more commonly known as Canta Clara County, California home to Silicon Valley. there are approximately 38% more single men than women. In addition, the divorce rates are astonishingly low, only 4% for couples in their 30s.


So what does all this mean? Do we give up hope get fluffy cats and re-watch Sex in the City? NO, why not watch The Big Bang Theory or Silicon Vally while simultaneously learn Python and C++, even better set your tinder profiles to be located in Canta Clara County. We are all educated, driven women right? If you feel a bit down after reading this post hopefully Sheldon Cooper quote can cheer you up a bit “People Say You Can’t live without love. wrong. I think Oxygen is more important.” And let’s not forget red-wine….

2 thoughts on “The Male Deficit – some key facts about dating ratios

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