(im)perfect quest for love

17 comments to state that you are indeed single

I hope you may find some inspiration the next time someone comments on your single status or if you accidentally bump into your past lover. These statements may hopefully shut them up to start making further comments about you being single or prompt further questioning. The list is in a randomized order.

1. “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” Quote by Robin Williams
2. “Yes, I am independently owned and operated”
3. When you meet your ex and his or her new partner: ” Oh cool your dating my ex, I have some leftover frozen pizza, want that too?”
4. “I am in a committed relationship with me”
5. “You’re single not because you are not good enough for one, it’s that you’re too good for the wrong one.” Quote by Chris Burkmenn
6. “Sometimes being alone is the upgrade”
7. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Quote by Oscar Wilde
8. “I am not searching for my other half because I am not half”
9. “Being single forever does not scare me, marrying the wrong person and being miserable forever does”
10. “I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over your presence needs feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.” Quote by Horacio Jones
11. When you meet your ex and his or her new partner: ” There are two sides to every story, and then there are screenshots”
12. Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out. Quote by Mandy Hale
13. “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” Quote by Carrie Bradshaw
14. When you meet your ex and his or her new partner: “Some people are just like M&M’s… memories and mistakes.”
15. “Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.” Quote by John Mayer
16. When you meet your ex and his or her new partner: “You might want to remember the lies you told me, they remember you”
17. When you meet your ex and his or her new partner, they say:” Hi, meet my new wife/husband.” Your response: ” This is my armpit.”

Singleness statements that 99% of the time are well intended but make you feel the opposite

Here are some conversational “makeover” tips on what not to say to a single person.  Oh my gosh, do I have some experience.

I think I have heard just about every singleness cliche, coming from both single friends and married friends.  99% of the time, I fully believe that each of these comments are well-intentioned and meant to be encouraging.  But the fact remains that they typically make a single person feel the opposite of encouraged.  So, I won’t claim to speak for all the singles out there, but I thought it might be fun and helpful to name my top singleness cliches, and offer a little explanation for why the world might be a better place if we can avoid them from now on…

1. “I KNOW YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE.” / “YOUR TIME WILL COME.” Another statment that is usually meant to make a single person feel better.  But I feel like it is more often said to make the person saying it feel better, or to bring a conversation about being single to a close. I have tried to make the person saying it feel validated, by responses such as “yes, I hope so”. But maybe a better approach would be to actually counter argue like “actually, it may not happen, but I’m ok with that” or “I am in love with a fictional character (or Driwght from the series The Office and that is enough for me” even better, “I actually found someone, he is in prison but we write each other letters everyday”.

2. “HOW ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?!” The bigger question is — how exactly is anyone expected to respond?  I know it’s usually intended as a compliment to a single person. The problem with this comment is that it (a) infers that I (or any reasonably average, regular, cool, marrying-aged person) should not “still” be single and (b) makes me feel like I have to defend or provide some justification.  The truth is that most days, I do enjoy my single life. Yes, there are ups and downs just like there are with being married.  But I would much prefer a happy single life to settling for the wrong relationship any day.

3. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MEET PEOPLE?  ARE YOU PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE?  HAVE YOU TRIED ONLINE DATING?” Not to be blunt and trust me, if a single person wants to meet someone, they have thought long and hard about what they want to be “doing” about it. I have been online dating, meet people in bars even went on an awful blind date my mum set up. Currently i am pondering hobbies I can try were the chance to meet single men is high. Yoga for example is not one of them as you usually have to be totally quiet, are in awkward positions most of the time. Please do share if you have any suggestions!

4 “OH GOSH, I WISH I WERE STILL SINGLE.”

In my experience, this statment usually comes with some sort of conversation about all of the “freedom” that single people have, which I get.  There are definitely some privileges that come with being single. Single people get to set our own schedules, manage finances just as we’d like, make big decisions on our own, choose our own meals, not argue about what TV-show to watch. All which I fully welcome and take delight in. On the flipside, there are tons of freedoms that come with being married or in a relationship.  Couples have the freedom of not having to bear the weight of making every decision on their own, they have the (potential) support of a second income, help with housework, the freedom to start a family and have kids, and on and on. But there are a lot of challenges that come with being married or in a relationship too. So while I “get” that there may be things about being single that people in relationships miss, I’m pretty positive that most of the time people who say this really don’t mean that they wish they were single.  (Unless they are in an unhappy relationship — that’s an entirely different conversation.)  So coupled up people, let’s not glorify being single.  And singles, let’s not honor being in a relationship. Let’s just be real about them both.